Dreary Dwarfs and Dragons

After a seemingly endless drop in to the bowels of depression it is time to continue with recording my quest.  It is now day 35 of this task.  I have fallen pretty far behind.  It is now going to take a hell of a challenge to get back on track.

Film 17:  The Hobbit

When the Lords of The Rings films came out I had no expectations as I find the books to be fairly tedious.  Peter Jackson brought that world to life though.  With the exception of the repeated false endings at the of Return... it is nearly flawless epic film-making.  The Hobbit however is dull and tonally messy.  Riddles In The Dark which is a brilliantly written sequence in the book, misses the point completely.  Why is the cave better illuminated than outside the cave. Without the dark you don't feel any worry that Bilbo will be ok.  At least the second one has a big fuck off dragon in it.  That is bound to be better, right?  ★★


Film 18:  The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Nope.  ★


Film 19:  Sexy Beast

Remember when Sir Ben Kingsley wasn't a pay-cheque hungry screen chewer?  He is demented in this film and is genuinely scary.  Ray Winstone plays as great understated former criminal who just wants to be left alone to drink and shag in the sun.  Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant. ★★★★


Film 20:  Miller's Crossing

I really like the Coen Brothers' films.  I really like prohibition era films.  I really like every one in this film.  Yet strangely what should have been a slam dunk for me left me wishing that the two bothers could compromise slightly on making their films slightly more accessible.  Didn't hate it but was underwhelmed by it.  ★★★


Film 21:  Frozen

Nobody does this sort of film like Disney. The songs are great, the story is simple but doesn't treat you like a simpleton.  I look forward to what will inevitably be repeated viewings with my daughter. ★★★★

Film 22:  Waterworld

What was once seen as one of the biggest commercial busts of all time is not that bad.  It has problems of course but Costner is at the height of his gnarled but charismatic powers and the whole experience is a fun time at the movies. Switch off your brain and just soak in its silliness. ★★★

23 - I Give It A Year

If ever there was genre that required you to turn off your brain it is rom-com. This is no exception.  However once you have done that there is enough here to make it worth your while.  Possibly this hit a few more beats for me as someone who has recently ended a long term relationship.  Steven Merchant is on the verge of one noting his way to super-stardom.  He is the stand out here but until that one note of his becomes annoying I hope he rides it to every bit of success he can.  Funny yet depressing. ★★★

Film 24:  Sightseers

Was it a horror?  Was it a comedy? Drama?  I am not sure.  When it was good, it was brilliant.  There were some mis-steps that jarred me out of the film but it was still enjoyable. It just felt like he wasn't quite as good as it could have been.  The idea of hand-knitted crotch-less knickers and matching bra will live with me far longer than is probably mentally safe however.  ★★★

Film 25:  Bad Santa

It was Christmas dammit! Once you got past the profanity there wasn't a great deal to this film.  But what awesome profanity. Tony Cox plays a great asshole dwarf of which there can never be enough in movies. Was still more sympathetic than Thorin et al ★★★

McConaughey 2.0 Is Amazing

After 8 films last week there was the inevitable slump this week.  Big plans to watch some classics were undone by my lack of mental health and need to up my medication and subsequently sleep a great deal.  However even in a slow week there were a couple of gems.

Film 14:  The Kings Of Summer

I heard really good things about this film via the Doug Loves Movies podcast (listen to it if you don't already, it is great).  It is a simple, coming of age tale that manages to be touching, funny and most importantly; real.  Nick Offerman, in particular, hits it out of the park as a dad struggling to bond with his son.  ★★★★★

Film 15: Killer Joe

Buoyed up by the enjoyment of Kings I went straight in to this.  It could not have been more different tonally.  A nasty tale of murder and coercion. It really reminded me of the Coen Brothers without the humour. I don't know what happened to Matthew McConaughey during filming of Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past but I am grateful for what ever it was. He has been on fire the last 4 years as he stays as far away from Rom-Coms as possible.  He is terrifying in this yet still manages to be sympathetic.  I never thought he was close to being capable of this level of performance.  I have [inter]stellar hopes for his team up with Christoper Nolan in 2014. ★★★★

Film 16: Fracture

How is Ryan Gosling so popular?  He really doesn't seem to have that much range beyond vaguely autistic.

Oh yeah, now I remember

 This asks a little more from him and wants him to channel the spirit of A few Good Men-era Tom Cruise.  Sadly, he doesn't even come close.  Anthony Hopkins is so bored by the goings-on here that he seemingly decides to deliver half of his dialogue in a broad, vaguely racist Irish accent.  A real pity as at times this film had potential but was just poorly executed, especially in the final act. ★★

Horror and Cardigans

Week two of my film challenge was productive in terms of volume.  As well as classic movies I have not seen I wanted to widen the type of films I watched.  I have never been the biggest fan of horror films,  I just don't see the point in spending time deliberately making myself feel scared.  This is not a pleasant emotion.  However I am nothing if not committed to this challenge.

Film 6: The Descent.  I had this film lent to me years ago and it sat on the shelf for a year without being watched.  This challenge would not have felt complete of I hadn't included this.  I was probably most scared before any of the craziness started deep underground. The final jump scare right at the end also made me scream out loud.  Yeah I know, I am big girl.

You have to feel sorry for the residents of the Appalachian mountains.  They have been portrayed as hillbilly rapists and murderers and now as blind cannibalistic cave dwellers.
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Film 7:  Seven Psychopaths.  I really wanted to like this.  Unfortunately it was so desperate to be clever that it occasionally forgot to be entertaining.  Sam Rockwell was brilliant as the only actual psychopath in the film.
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Film 8: Django Unchained.  I love Tarantino films.  Sometimes they are vulgar or funny or sad. They are always violent.  And they are always clearly made by a guy with his own vision.  This was all of the above things.  It was a little messy at the end and made me feel uncomfortable with the relentless use of the N-word.  Leonardo Di Caprio really is the best actor in the world at the moment.  On a par with Pacino in the 70s.  That is the highest pf praise.  Exactly why the Academy has decided that he isn't to be recognised for his work bemuses me.
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Film 9: Lawless.  Prohibition era films are among my very favorite.  However the image of gangsters in sharp suits needed freshening up.  This was perfect at doing that however it just fell short of being great.  I couldn't tell you what was missing but something just felt off.  When it did work however it was stunning.  Tom Hardy was definitely the thing that worked best.  A cardigan has never seemed so menacing and did a great job of camouflaging all that Bane weight.
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Film 10: Hellraiser.  Ugh.  Revolting and scary.  Two reactions I don't enjoy when it comes to watching films.  In fairness to it however it did a lot of really clever things with a budget of about 3p.  It is easy to see why Pinhead et al became iconic figures.  No more horror for a while however.  Especially body horror.  Ugh.
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Film 11: The Big Bounce.  Elmore Leonard writes great stories about petty criminals.  Sometimes this can result on really good films like Get Shorty or Out Of Sight.  other times it results in Roy Schieder vehicle 52 Pick Up.  This was nearer the former.  Owen Wilson is so good at the quick fire dialogue that it is a pity this didn't do better on release and even more of a pity that he is stuck in shit-fests like The Internship.
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Film 12: Street Kings.  Keanu Reeves plays a shit hot, if trigger happy cop in a film about blurred morality in South LA. Forrest Whittaker plays his politically connected boss. Great premise, decent cast, lazy execution..  The main problem is that if Keanu is such a superstar why is he such a total dumbass?  He is plays the sort of violent but autistic idiot that Ryan Gosling has made his own.
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Film 13: Justice.  Nick Cage, Guy Pearce.  Convoluted plot about administering justice outside of the law process. The plot makes no sense after the first half hour.  Really not good.  Made worse when I realised I had seen the film before.  I realised this during the final shoot out.

Film 13 part 2: Blitz.  Clearly film 13 is cursed as you would expect. Jason Statham, a personal hero of mine, rocks this week's second cardigan.  Not as awesome as Hardy in Lawless but still pretty special.  Aiden Gillen is clearly in a different film to everyone else, seemingly a far better film.  He is so full of charm and self confidence that his final fate is a real disappointment.
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So week two is in the books and 8 more films watched.  Not classics this week but Django aand Lawless were both very pleasing watches. Got a couple of vintage films this week with original Planet of The Apes, 39 Steps and hopefully Apocalypse Now.

Be good to each other people.

365 Films

I watch a lot of films.  I like to do this more than pretty much anything else. I usually try to watch a film every day.   One area that I am not good at is committing to watching films I have not seen before.  I have seen Under Siege 2: Dark Territory five times.  This is not something I am proud of.  And nor should I be.  Once is probably two too many times for that particular "gem"

During a conversation about films it started to occur to me that for all my self-imagined film buff-ness there were some glaring misses. Classics I had managed to not watch.  I am not sure how I have managed to watch Nude Nuns With Big Guns yet have never seen Apocalypse Now.

This could not continue.  I had a birthday coming up so decided that in the 365 days from that annual even until the next one in 2014 I would aim to watch 365 films I have not seen before. I needed something to ensure the quality of the films had a chance of being high. Luckily I was sent a Facebook list to see how many of iMDB's  Top 250 films I had seen.  I have seen 148 of these so that is 102 of my 365 films.

I am currently 3 days into the challenger (almost 1% of the way) and have already seen 5 previously unseen films.

1 - Invictus - A suitable starter film which embodies the indomitable spirit I would need to keep to this challenge.  Matt Damon is never in a bad film (I refuse to acknowledge Stuck On You exists). ⋆⋆⋆

2 - White House Down - Silly, messy and ridiculous.  Not exactly one of the classics I am aiming for with this challenge but it won't be the worst film I watch this year. ⋆⋆⋆

3 - Thor: The Dark World - Too long, too predictable, too disappointing ⋆⋆

4 - Life Of Pi -  Now this is more like it. I watched this straight after getting back from the cinema to watch Thor.  It was beautiful, tense heartwarming and at times really sad. ⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

5 - Prometheus - A film that was weighed down by its own heritage.  Desperately wanted to live up to the original Alien film but rather than try and tell its own story just got bogged down by endless references and keenness to have a sequel. ⋆⋆⋆

So there we are.  5 films seen and 1 classic already.  At this rate the challenge should be easy.  Let's see how the next week goes.

Be good to each other peeps.

Statham Day

A year ago today I was sat in a room noticeable only for its emotional sterility and unbreakable mirrors.

I was in the room because I was in the middle of a month long stay in the local nut house for treatment for depression.  I was seriously considering killing myself. 

Exactly how I would do this hadn't fully crystallised in my mind yet. It was not something I really wanted to attempt multiple times.  In the meantime I was looking for ways to kill time instead. Unfortunately the usual procession of therapy sessions today had been cancelled and replaced with an open day.  The idea of being surrounded by strangers is enough to send me running for cover at the best of times.  This was not the best of times.

I had been given two box sets of films recently. Each focusing on the work of a different actor.  The first was Paul Newman,  one of the finest actors of his or any generation.  The second set featured four films from the career of Jason Statham. No contest, right?

Exactly

War and Chaos are exactly what you would expect from Statham films co-starring Wesley Snipes and Jet Li respectively. Not in anyway good but ultimately inoffensive.   The Bank Job was even quite fun in its own way.

The one that made the day stand out however was Revolver.  Someone told me later that it is based on Kaballa.  That may or may not be true. What I can tell you is that it was total and utter shite. The plot makes no sense, the acting is appalling and as for the ending ? Fuck! I have rarely felt so angry and never before at a supposed piece of art. This was a film so bad that I as a person who was seriously considering suicide still felt angry at having my previous hours on this planet wasted.

I wouldn't say that the film cured my depression because it didn't. A long time later I realised that if I was capable of that sort of visceral reaction to a film then maybe I could cope with life after all and that you don't have to enjoy every experience.  Sometimes you just have to make it through until something better comes along.

And so, a year later, I still haven't overdosed or jumped in front of a train or off a high bridge or acted out any of the other scenarios I had thought of. For this in some small way I thank the power of shitty films and specifically; The Stath.  And so I name June 23rd Statham Day in the great man's honour.